Depressive Feelings

Feeling "down" is different from depression. Depression is about intensity and duration. Emotions are dynamic; they are naturally in flux as we are constantly being stimulated by something or someone in our environment. Depression happens when these sad feelings stay around longer than we want and feel heavier than the situations may appear to warrant. Embracing all your feelings as a communication tool and knowing yourself better can help you make the distinction. Sad/down days will be temporary. Depression may need a little more help for you to work through.

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Betrayal

Betrayal is about broken trust. Relationships have overt and covert agreements about trust; being able to rely on someone or something, regardless of the type of relationship. We most often think of infidelity in romantic relationships. However, any breach of trust counts: friendships, job, coworkers. Wherever there is an interaction, there is a potential to build as well as knock trust. When that is broken, we can feel a significant sense of loss. What we thought was real, is not, and that can be devastating. Betrayal tends to include a whirlwind of emotions, all happening simultaneously. Overcoming these feelings is challenging yet doable. It will require time, space and kindness with yourself.

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Work/life Balance

In this hustle culture in which we live, the idea of rest is seen as unproductive or lazy. Balance of both has been the ideal, but in reality, balance is never static. If you think of a scale, neither end stands still for long. That has been an unrealistic expectation that started out with good intention. The term was first used around the 1930's in the U.S. to reinforce the idea of Fair Labor Act of 1940 wherein work schedules were put in place in order to help workers physical & mental health. Over time it has become the ideal to strive for: how do we (especially women) get to have it all? What started out good has now become significant pressure to do and be all, to be on 24/7.

It would be more helpful to think about our life as a juggling act. Which role are we using now? mother, worker, friend, etc. And allow our essence to be about who and what we truly are: what do we value about ourselves and our world. Are you loyal? Kind? Hardworking? Focusing on what resonates with us may help us to create the time and space to develop these further, this in turn can increase our overall life satisfaction.

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Little to no value given to caregiving

Women continue to be the main caretakers of the family; whether for the youngest or oldest. As income earners also, this caregiving role adds to the pressure that many women feel. Sadly our society does not value caregiving as seen with poor and expensive childcare options, unsafe nursing homes with poorly paid and trained staff, etc. This expectation tends to add to the symptoms of anxiety and depression most commonly brought by women into therapy. I encourage women, and families, to have thorough conversations about aging, death and dying in order to create a strategic plan for helping elders. Parenting resources often site the need for planning, creating a village and having the hard conversations with and within families to better manage the stress.

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