Building Trust in Relationships: Key Strategies for Lasting Connections

Transparency
Reliability
Understanding
Speaking Kindly
Thanking You & Me

Trust is the foundation for every functional and healthy relationship. While it may seem like a magical and intangible concept, trust is actually very concrete. It is a choice to be vulnerable, authentic, and approachable. There are various tools we can use to build, encourage, and sometimes even recreate trusting relationships.

When we meet someone we feel an attraction to, we begin the process of connection. This connection encourages us to invest the time needed to grow from a chance interaction to a relationship. Ideally, this is a cautious process, as trust requires time and a willingness to create opportunities to assess each other's character and behaviors in different situations. We begin by observing reliability and consistency: Do you say what you mean? Do you do as you say? These are the foundational questions of building trust.

As consistency is established with honest words and actions, we can create safety and security. We become more willing to take the risks inherent in any relationship, ready to take the leap of faith necessary for further emotional intimacy. Commitment to the relationship is the result of this journey.

Tips for Establishing Trust:

1. Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say: This is the cornerstone of trust. Follow-through creates credibility. Omissions of information or lies diminish credibility.
2. Be Willing to Be Vulnerable… Slowly: As we watch each other’s behaviors and interact daily, we assess reliability. If over time, they remain steady, we can be open to sharing the risks of being in a relationship with someone.
3. Share Your Feelings and Then Switch: The willingness to share your thoughts and feelings, and then switch turns to actively listen to your partner’s thoughts and feelings, creates space for open and collaborative conversations. Feeling safe to share without being dismissed is crucial. Acknowledgment and appreciation play important roles in building trust.
4. Give the Benefit of the Doubt: Allowing someone the opportunity to come through for us means temporarily suspending our perspective and watching how they manage that opportunity. Of course, this depends on the situation and the stage of your relationship.

Creating trust is a daily commitment. Put trust in, and generally, you will get trust in return. Creating opportunities for sharing vulnerability allows for the possibility of a comfortable and caring relationship where both can feel appreciated and valued.

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