One of the hardest things to do when ending a relationship is finding the right words to end it.

It always feels like there’s no right way to end things because someone always ends up getting hurt, and the conversation can quickly turn into a heated argument. Whether you’re choosing to end things with your partner because you realized they are not the person for you, or you’re choosing to do so because this person betrayed you – you should always try to be the bigger person. Ultimately, as much as you might want that person to feel hurt and regret in that moment, you know deep down that hurting that person won’t make you feel any better.

Whatever your situation may be, or however long your relationship has been, you owe it to yourself and to that person to be honest about how you are feeling and not drag the process because it is difficult.

Here are a few things that I recommend you consider to make this breakup smoother:

• Do it with a clear head
• Choose your time and place wisely
• Think about what you’re going to say in advance, and stick to it
• Use “I” statements to show you are taking responsibility for the decision you are making
• Be honest about your feelings
• Be respectful
  

Some examples of what it might sound like to end a relationship in a healthy and direct way are:

• I enjoyed getting to know you, but I am not feeling a real connection between us.
• We don’t belong together, and it’s time for both of us to move on with our lives
• I don’t mean to hurt you, but this relationship isn’t working for me.
• I think we should end this relationship now rather than wait for things to get worse.
• It was fun hanging out together, but I don’t think we are meant to be a couple.
• It seems like our paths are going in different directions and I need to put all my focus on my own path.
• It’s clear to me now that our views are incompatible. I am sorry but this isn’t going to work.
• I wanted to let you know that my feelings for you are much stronger as a friend than as a romantic partner.
• I hope I’m not hurting your feelings because it’s the last thing I want to do, but I think we’d be better off as friends.
• I think our relationship isn’t working. We have different priorities, and our personalities aren’t a match.
  

Breakups can be messy because matters of the heart are messy, but the key is to stay true to yourself and honor your feelings, and your decision. You have no control over other people, but you have control over your life and over how you decide to handle situations. If you need help in this process, feel free to reach out to a professional.

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