The decision to move on from a relationship is usually a very personal one. Deal breakers tend to be unique for individuals. Often deal breakers are determined by a person's past experiences, family experiences or level of self-worth. There are some more obvious or common ones such as physical or sexual abuse, addiction, infidelity. And even in those cases there are people who struggle with leaving and stay longer than they “should."

That said, some of the more subtle cues that can present in struggling relationships include:

The partner who is unwilling to communicate about difficult issues. 

The partner who is unwilling to learn each other‘s love language. That is often a source of conflict because one partner feels unloved and the other partner feels unappreciated.

The partner who wants to keep you as a secret. For example doesn’t introduce you to friends or family. Doesn’t include you on their social media. Introduces you as “my friend“. 

The partner who is unwilling to discuss future plans. 

The partner who does not show any behaviors that imply investment in the relationship, such as creating & spending time together, helping around the house, being kind. 

The partner who has significant anger issues. Anger can be immobilizing or an immobilizing emotion. Maybe not shown in physical aggression but rather emotional aggression, such as constant belittling or criticism.

The decision to leave a relationship is challenging for many people, both men and women. The way that I would suggest to leave a relationship is through open dialogue. Expression of what we feel is missing and owning our desires or needs for something different. The healthier way, in my opinion, is to own our wants and needs versus blaming the other person. Blaming them for their behavior and for “making you“ have to leave. If the partners are able to dialogue and agree to disagree, leaving can become a mutual understanding. When that is not possible, one person generally has to take a stand for what’s important to them and act alone. Hopefully that person will have other support systems in place. Because even when we choose to leave, it is still a loss. And there is still a grieving process involved.