The truth is that it’s not as complicated as some might make it seem. Men and women’s desires in a relationship can be different and understanding this is helpful in navigating a relationship. Generally, men tend to be visual in their desires, while women tend to be auditory, meaning they not only want to see the qualities they desire, but they want to hear them.
“What do women want in a relationship?” is a question I hear often. The truth is that it’s not as complicated as some might make it seem. Men and women’s desires in a relationship can be different and understanding this is helpful in navigating a relationship. Generally, men tend to be visual in their desires, while women tend to be auditory, meaning they not only want to see the qualities they desire, but they want to hear them.
While you can ask each woman and get different answers to this question, here are some recurring themes I hear from clients:
To feel safe. Safe in traditional and non-traditional ways. Feeling protected physically and cared for financially is important, but so is feeling safe to share her thoughts, ideas, dreams and goals. Emotional safety can allow for a deeper connection. When a woman feels safe, she is more likely to be open and adventurous.
To be wanted. Being wanted across the board includes physically and emotionally. A woman wants someone who makes her feel good about herself through kindness and communication. Prioritizing a woman by spending time with her, sharing activities and goals, having their back and creating memories will make her feel cared for and wanted. Caring about a woman outside of the bedroom will likely get you into the bedroom more often!
To be heard and understood. Women want to share their ideas and feelings. For women it is more about sharing than the solving of the situation. Learning active listening can help you hear the words as well as listen for the meanings. A good listener seeks to understand the underlying emotion instead of judging.
To admire their partner. Confidence is very attractive. Knowing what you want and where you are going can be an aphrodisiac. There is a big difference between confidence and arrogance. A confident man shares his ideas and dreams and seeks feedback. An arrogant man is a “know it all.” Women want to learn from their partners in an open and caring way. Being able to laugh and play are also ways to admire.
There are many other things that both women and men want from each other in intimate relationships. The big one these days is emotional connection. Women who are happy in their relationships say that their partner shows them they are loved and cherished, regularly and consistently. This tends to be the foundation for building the other parts of walking this life: finances, parenting, family and community.